Blessed Networks and their Healing Power
Written by Tim Buckley, October 2023
“[We felt] relief and comfort, because we now have a circle of friends, some of whom also have children with disabilities. We are more confident in how to best support our kids, especially our son.”
Trauma comes in many forms. When experienced at a young age, psychologists now have a name for the causes: ACEs, or adverse childhood experiences. The more of them you accumulate, the higher the chances of you having severe difficulty as an adult: less earnings, addictions, divorce, prison, early death.
It’s also true that adults can be traumatized, and the impact on their lives can be equally unhealthy.
Some of the ways in which we can unplug from the psychological and emotional effects of trauma is to find support, have meaningful relationships, and actively embrace the things that bring about healing.
Gricelda Hernandez and her husband moved to the area a couple of years ago. They were unfamiliar with the resources, had to adapt to a new environment and find new friends.
The city was still gripped with COVID realities, and she had lost her father to the pandemic not long before. At the time, their children were ages two and one; the eldest, a son, had experienced a seizure which “was so traumatic that I still have difficulty talking about it now. Later he was diagnosed with autism.” she stated. Perhaps having graduated from Western Oregon University with a degree in Psychology contributed to her understanding of trauma. But it didn’t reduce the stress of being a newcomer to the area, the grieving, and the diagnosis. She knew they needed to get connected, and find support for the difficulties of parenting, one with higher needs.
Researching local support groups, Gricelda learned about We Families Flourish Together (WFFT), a project funded by a businessman who believes in CBEL’s “hand up” approach. She began the six-month class early this year, meeting in the evening every two weeks. “Immediately I felt joy because the organizers had arranged the classes to be child friendly. Our kids were in the same classroom with us, in the back, interacting and playing together.”
Parents listen in during the WPFT class while kids play in the back of the room
Some of the core things the WFFT students studied were directed at stress reduction. They practiced mindfulness techniques and compassionate communications. “I’m still wearing the bracelet we received,” she said. “It says: Awareness Without Judgment.”
Perhaps a bigger gift to the Hernandez couple, beyond childcare and self-care strategies, was a network of new friends and places to find added support for their son. “Fostering Hope’s WFFT program is part of the larger Catholic Community Services organization,” Gricelda added. “Through them, we got connected to Horses of Hope Oregon, a wonderful resource for a diverse population of individuals with a variety of physical, cognitive, emotional and behavioral needs. “Through them, we got connected to Horses of Hope, a wonderful resource for kids with autism. And we got involved in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy and a parent’s support group.”
“Although at times, as an introvert, I felt timid, outside my comfort zone,” Gricelda continued, “the class was a lot of fun, too. It brought relief and comfort, because we now have a circle of friends, some of whom also have neuro-divergent children with disabilities. We are more confident in how to best support our kids, especially our son.”
The other thing she noted about the experience with We Families Flourish Together was the leadership, particularly Rick Newton. “He’s terrific as a mentor,” she said. “The learning is always student-centered, he told us, and that gave each of us a sense of confidence and self-determination. Very powerful.”